Dear Children, 

Take a moment to say thank you to the women who raised you. Everyday. But especially, today.

Motherhood didn’t come with a manual. At the beginning we all pretend to be invincible, a superwoman of sorts – until we have mastered the art of truly becoming one.  

Since, the cat’s out of the bag. No, we don’t magically know how to bake your favorite cake or invent award-winning Halloween costumes. We may seem like we’ve always had a plan, but we all make it up as we go.

Everyday, we wake up and put on our superwoman cape. We wear it on days we feel strong, and even when we struggle to be okay. 

But the reality is, we’re not superwomen, but we try to be for you. We all secretly wish to do good enough to be called “the best mom in the universe.”

At least, your universe.

Nobody is 100% ready when they become a mom. And even in my 27 years of being one, I know I’m still learning. But I also know all those years have taught me lessons you can only understand when you become a mother. So to every child reading this, here are a few things we hope you know.

 

In all that we do, we think of you

Being a mom doesn’t have an “off switch.” We can’t look the other way, and not worry about you, even if we wanted to.  Even when we have less than enough, we’d gladly swap our meal for something that would make you smile. A shirt, a toy, a candy, if it’s within reach, it’s yours. And it’s ok. 

In every step we take, we think of you. We breathe your dreams, your past and your future. We wish to build them with you, and watch as you claim your stars from the sky. We give everything effortlessly, with no questions asked.

 We jump to be your first line of defense

 With every tear that falls from your eyes, our hearts break a million times inside. 

From the moment you were born, all we had hoped for is to give you a life of sheer joy and love. We stepped in when you classmates teased you, we cried with you through your first heartbreak.

And when failure comes knocking on your door, we can only hope we’ve prepared you enough to overcome it. We may raise our voices, pressure you, and cry with you – but only because we know better than to let failure suck the life out of your hopes and dreams.  And when failure starts to walk away, we hope you’ve come out stronger, wiser, and tougher because we know what comes next. We know they are bound to circle back, and every time they do, we hope you win.

No matter how grown you seem to be, we will always step forward to be your first line of defense. If only we could protect you from the darkness of the world, we’d take it all. 

 

We hope we’ve done well by you

One day you’ll have children of your own. Love may feel so overwhelming you will have days you feel crazy and overprotective. Know that your fears are valid.  

In time, you’ll pick up pieces and learn what works. It’ll never be the same for any of your children. What works for one may be a disaster to the other. 

 But when doubt comes creeping in, forgive yourself for not being the mother you planned to be. Forgive yourself for times you become demanding, clingy, and nagging. Know that tomorrow is another day; another chance to step back and recuperate.

 Forgive your children on days you feel ignored and de-prioritized. Forgive them for straying away when they’re learning to know themselves. Forgive them on days they forget to call back. 

By now, you know things never go as planned. Let go of your expectations and choose to love instead.  Love on the days you can’t come through, on days you feel ignored and neglected. Love when you don’t understand or feel understood.  Continue to love without bounds, without expectations, and without keeping score. 

Because one day it’ll be their turn to learn, with children and a family of their own. And when that day comes, we hope we’ve done well by you.

We hope you remember us

No doubt your life will shift in a million ways. Your to-do list will keep growing. Work, partner, school, friends, life, among others. But even when life pulls at you from a hundred different directions, we hope you find a little corner in your mind for us.

We hope you remember the woman who stood up for you; the woman who never left. Remember the woman that made all mountains move to make things happen for you.

Even on days you feel a little more grown-up and independent, I hope you remember her. 

This mother’s day, I hope you take a few minutes off of your busy life to say thank you. 

It doesn’t take much, grab your phone, make the call.

 One day, you’ll know how important these little gestures mean. 

 

Love always,

Mommy Zhar