Words that came out of my mouth as we reached almost a month of not seeing each other due to this pandemic.
March 15 – my boyfriend and I were scheduled to meet and spend time together, when suddenly, the news came out about the President issuing an order to impose an enhanced community quarantine. It sounded scary, but still, we thought to ourselves, “Tss… It’s gonna be okay. They wouldn’t be so strict about it.”
My boyfriend lives in the North, while I live in the South (wait, this isn’t like your Crash Landing On You K-drama series – there are no divisions during this lockdown, even though it feels like it…). For those who can relate, we would usually call it “LDR: Long Drive Relationship”. Funny as it may sound, but really, living in opposite directions (64kms. back and forth) – with toll fees to pay for, terrible traffic to endure and a gas tank to consistently fill– is no joke.
Driving up North, there are times when I need to be extra creative in keeping myself entertained – I listen to good music, I sing my favorite karaoke 90’s songs like Spice Girls’ Wannabe, I catch up with my girlfriends over a video call and sometimes, I even attempt watching my favorite series, Money Heist. It’s the same for my boyfriend, except he compensates with speed. Going home is like a race for him – he needs to be at least halfway home before the exhaustion of driving catches up on him and makes him sleepy. Attending parties together, eating out, running errands, watching TV series and having coffee, are some of the things we want to do together. We can’t just demand each other to physically be there (unless, we have our Genie In A Bottle to grant our wishes).
My boyfriend and I would usually only see each other once a week during the weekend, but if we’re lucky, we get to see each other twice in a row when he has field work scheduled on a weekday here in the South. Seeing each other doesn’t only mean spending time with each other, but also making time with our friends and most especially, family.
This is the relationship that we signed up for. Nonetheless, I would say, this is the kind of relationship that I’d choose over and over again.
This kind of relationship is like the survival of the fittest. Quoting Charles Darwin, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
Thus, during this pandemic, we can’t do anything but stay still and pray every day that this will come to an end. Yes, it can get very frustrating, but I do not want to waste the days just thinking, “I miss him. These used to be happy moments *sob, sob, sob*…” Instead, I focus on a list of helpful ways – made available by our recent technology – that I’d like to share with you be able to maintain a fit you and healthy, thriving relationship:
Whether it’s via Facetime or Zoom, set a date when you can see each other, really talk about things and just simply laugh at each other’s (corny) jokes.
Before the pandemic, my boyfriend and I love hanging out every Saturday at home — most of the time, having a few drinks during sunset (we love the beach and happy hour), then preparing dinner and binge watching. Now, we set Friday as our “date night” via Zoom. It is still different to communicate seeing each other’s faces compared to catching up via text message or just over the phone. This way, we still feel somehow connected.
Yes, we can still make this lockdown fun together by sharing some photos or videos of what you have probably done for the day, sending podcast videos where you can both learn from or trying e-workouts together.
Recently, I sent my boyfriend a compilation of some of our videos together and it both gave us a warm feeling. Also, even though, we already work out on our own every day, we still want to try doing an e-workout together. I told him that we should try a dance workout, which will most probably just have us laughing at each other!
Learning a new skill or finding a new hobby is something your partner would appreciate. During this lockdown, I learned new recipes to cook! Cooking is one thing that my boyfriend encourages me to learn and eventually love (his mom is a good cook and yes, including himself). I tell him the new recipes that I have learned and show him photos of it.
Why not try to discover and unlock a skill in you that you would actually enjoy, or something that would impress your partner!
You don’t need to message or be on the phone 24/7. We may be on this lockdown right now, but it is still important to take some time off each other.
In my case, I love cleaning, organizing and setting my goals for the day. He, on the other hand, works from home during weekdays and plays NBA 2k20 or COD: Call of Duty (yup, I know) during his rest days. There would be times when our replies take hours, but that’s totally okay.
To the ladies who are now suddenly also in an “LDR” relationship, there are a lot of ways that we can still do to spice things up in our relationship and not pick a fight just because you’re bored or because you miss it (kidding!). Make the most out of these days that we are faced.
Remember that this is just temporary! Make every day bright and beautiful together with your loved ones at home. It would definitely help in making a fit you and a healthy, thriving relationship.
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