by Nina Camacho
“I want to draw the Taal Volcano erupting with some people around it.” These words came from my 5-year old boy while showing me his drawings. His interesting doodles have increased significantly as boredom strikes from being home for the past week, with the cancellation of all classes.
“This is the world with coronavirus.” Toby, 5.
“I need another piece of paper, Mom.” And just a while later, he comes to me with another drawing and says, “This is the world with coronavirus.”. I pause, look at his innocent face and realize that my kids are definitely growing up in a world that terrifies me, just like many parents out there who are raising small children like mine. But I cannot let fear win over me, it is this time that my role as a resilient mother is needed, more than ever. It is during this time that I need to woman up and quickly adapt to what the situation calls for, not for myself but for my children.
And here is how I’m coping.
1. Rallying
The news, social media and every chat group is already full of bad news, problems and negativity. The first thing each family needs is that positive attitude to get through these challenging times. Moms, we set the mood, the attitude and the energy at home. And the challenge we face today is not an easy one. We need to rally the family to work together. It may be a pep talk over dinner, over-emphasizing your fighting spirit or simply having a morning exercise to energize everyone. It doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as you are able to rally the family to believe that you can get over the rapid changes together.
“… I cannot let fear win over me, it is this time that my role as a resilient mother is needed,”
2. Routine
I can never stress enough the importance of establishing a routine or at least finding a system that works for your family. Some left-brained mamas (like myself) will follow a firm schedule to make sure homework is done, early bedtime is still followed & watching TV (or gadget time, for families who allow this) is even more regulated with the increased idle time. The reason why traditional students get things done is because children follow a routine & schedule. They are not capable of managing their time wisely just yet. They need our help with time management. However, within the time structure, it is important that the children’s personalities and learning styles are still considered.
With this whole new learning-from-home situation, it is but normal to feel and say, “I didn’t sign up for this!”. Salute to all homeschooling moms but for majority of us, this is not easy. But this is reality. Let us, instead, see it as the best time for us parents to really discover how different each child learns. In my case, I have learned to teach one & the same lesson in two different ways: one method is for my eldest, who can learn just by patiently reading black & white text, while the other method is for my second-born who needs glass windows to draw on, colored pens & tinker time to absorb the exact same lesson. The challenge is to establish the routine but adapt to each personality and learning style. As you master and accept the differences, not just between children but more importantly, your difference from them, you will experience less of those fights and see miracles in tutoring and their studies.
3. Relaxation
I am a mom of four kids, all under the age of ten, and run my own business (not from home), which means I am in the office almost the entire week. Relaxation is foreign to me, just like all mothers out there. Whether you are a housewife, a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home-mom, a full-time employee or an entrepreneur, we all struggle to find time to relax, sometimes not finding it at all.
As I experience the strict mandate to work-from-home, something very different from my defiant, workaholic self, I have learned to somehow relax and take advantage of this rare opportunity when my business, together with the whole world, needs to spin a little slower. Today, nothing is more important than slowing down and being with my 10-year old who needs constant explanation from what she hears in the news, being with my 8-year old who copes with learning from Google classroom, being with my 5-year old who needs assurance as he expresses the struggles of the world in his drawings and finally, my 1-year old who just needs the comfort of latching on to me and just feeling my presence 24/7. Being at home, relaxing my mind and constantly reminding myself that this is my chance to be fully present is clearly something God wants me to be doing at this time.
4. Readiness
Count the number of heads in your home, including your household staff. Those are the number of mouths you need to feed. Those are the bodies you need to keep healthy. Those are the lives who rely on you in this time of crisis. My personal rule is a 2-week supply of food and a month’s supply of everything else like toiletries and cleaning materials. In this way, we are ready to remain home for two weeks straight before we have to go for a grocery run. And when it is time for that grocery run, it will be quick because it will only be for food. We would still have our non-food needs on stock. Remember those go bags that schools asked us to prepare? It’s a good time to replenish them if you haven’t done so. In the worst case scenario, they should be ready for consumption.
They say the best defense we have against what’s going around is boosting our immune system & practicing good personal hygiene. Aside from reminding the children and household staff about these practices, the cleanliness and orderliness of the home will make it feel like the safest place to be in right now. Make an effort to really make it feel that way – physically safe, mentally safe, emotionally safe & spiritually safe.
5. Resilience
Resilience does not have to be surviving a calamity nor does it have to be extreme in nature. It can be as simple as exerting the extra effort needed in learning-from-home. It is always having a can-do attitude with daily chores, long homework & new circumstances that the rapidly changing world brings. It is stopping ourselves from complaining and just choosing to share positive notes on what they can learn from the problems the world faces today.
It is using our power, as mothers, to set the minds of the young ones to see the good in everything. Because despite the severity of the problems families have to face today, we have that power to show them that we can & will bounce back, no matter what the situation. Resilience is being the fighting spirit of the family – and forming a little fighting spirit in each child.
6. Reflection
The noisier the world gets, the quieter we should be. And I believe the children are never too young to learn this. With the busyness of today’s world, this becomes a challenge for all of us. I appreciate the fact that in my daughters’ school, they practice meditation and that simple moment of silence very early on. As you arrange a schedule for the family, try to insert a few minutes of silence in the routine. Early in the morning, help them set their intentions for the day.
And just before bedtime, tell them to verbalize the following:
- One thing that they are most thankful for, by starting the sentence with “Thank you for…”
- One thing they did today that they are sorry for and do not want to repeat tomorrow, by starting the sentence with “I’m sorry for…”
- One thing that they pray for others, by starting the sentence with “I pray for…”
And while they say these three simple sentences, LISTEN. Aside from learning a lot about your children, you will hear the sincerest affirmations and the purest intentions that will take away all the negativity you heard in the news or saw in your social media feed.
Times are becoming difficult and we do not know how much worse things will become before they turn up for the better. Maybe by keeping just the most basic things in mind, we will get through because we all choose to get through, not for ourselves but for the children.
After all, we will only bring out the best mothers inside of us, not in the easy situations, but during the most difficult times.
functions of business – Operations, Marketing, Human Resources & Finance.
With her sharp eye for details & extensive analytical skills, she runs her own businesses and helps both starting and established businesses take a step to the next level, reaching greater heights through simple organization and process streamlining.
