by Myca Calangian
“How did you come out?”, “What triggered you to come out?”, “Is it hard to be part of the LGBTQIA++ community?” Some of the frequent questions I get from random people, may it be friends, or acquaintances. Questions I never get to ask myself before but lingers on my mind recently.
Now that it’s June and we are celebrating Pride month, I want to share some of the things I learned from being part of the LGBTQIA++ community.
On Society’s Judgement
Saying that it is not easy to come out is an understatement. Expressing the truth about how I feel or what I think is not a walk in the park. We were raised in a society full of judgments and criticisms that sometimes even question our own identity and I am no stranger to this.
One of the most painful things I heard was in a public gathering. It was in a religious group, almost a decade ago. I could vividly remember the preacher getting into the topic of LGBTQ. He made fun of us up-to-the point of condemning us. I was shocked. I wanted to leave but I was stuck. After that incident, I never went back.
Society was built to create rules and boundaries. But I never allowed it to manipulate me and my life decisions. People will surely throw things against me, day and night. Rejections and judgments are part of life. They will always be there no matter what my preference is -lesbian or not. People will always have their own opinions. I take every rejection as constructive as possible and turn them into motivation that could benefit me. If it doesn’t, I walk away from it. At first, I thought that what they say can destroy me, but once I’ve overcome it, it made me stronger. It made me a fighter.
“Never allow anyone to manipulate you and your life decisions.”
On Struggles Within
The truth about coming out is it isn’t the hardest part. Rather, it is self-acceptance. Cliché as it may sound, the beginning of this journey starts from within. I first questioned myself on a lot of things – from my interests to my feelings to my decisions. I felt incomplete, lost, and unfulfilled. Hiding the truth not just from myself, but from my family and friends, felt like living behind bars. These factors were the biggest reasons I came out. I believe everybody deserves to fly and to live free no matter what their preference is. The day that I stood up in front of a mirror holding my head up and telling myself that I am worthy, I am free, and I am just being me was the best feeling, ever. It took time, but the sooner I’ve learned to accept myself, everything else followed.
On Setting Free
Homosexuality is not a curse, it is not a disorder. Don’t be ashamed to follow your heart, never be afraid to show what you got and who you are. To tell you frankly, coming out didn’t harm me at all. It made me stronger and it opened more windows even wider doors of opportunities. I know I can do more because I am happy and free. Keep in mind that your worth is not based on other people’s opinions. You know who you are and you’re capable to love and deserve to be loved.
“Being true to yourself and being authentic about your feeling and your choice is the first step to self-acceptance.”
Being part of the LGBTQIA++ community won’t make you less of a person nor less of a man or woman. I can attest to that coz’ I’ve been there. Don’t be afraid to come out and show the world your true self. At the end of the day, your happiness lies within you, the authentic you.
He’s creative and willing to take risks for growth and happiness. He’s an extrovert but also enjoys the calmness of being alone.
ABOUT MYCA CALANGIAN
An advocate of gender equality and freedom of gender expression, Myca first came out in 2009 at the age of 19. Myca worked in the entertainment industry in the Philippines for 8 years and is now a Certified Professional Coder in Abu Dhabi. He recently started doing vlogs to pursue his passion and spread inspiration. He’s creative and willing to take risks for growth and happiness. He’s an extrovert but also enjoys the calmness of being alone.
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