By: Zarina Krishna
When you’re 17, you live for your summers.
Every school year you’re given 7 weeks to breathe. To sit in silence, or to wipe the slate clean as if you can reinvent yourself before lodging into a new school year.
Hi, my name is Zarina Krishna, I just turned 17 and this summer, all I wanted to do was try something new. I wanted to give myself a chance to do things I was scared of trying so I did the most unexpected thing ever – joined a flag football league.
Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve always struggled with my weight. I grew up on the bigger side and had pretty much convinced myself that I wasn’t cut out for sports. It just wasn’t my thing. I was the girl who preferred writing, and drawing, and crocheting at home so I got used to the idea of seeing myself doing things that could only be done at home. I was at peace with the character I’ve grown into – the artsy girl. Singing and dancing and painting – that was my jam. But catching a ball? Let’s leave that to my siblings.
But this summer was different, I wanted to give it a try. I wanted to stop disqualifying myself for things before I even gave it a shot. So with little to no experience, I signed up for a flag football tournament all the way in Subic.
As I stepped on the field, I didn’t quite care much about the outcome. I just wanted to show up and prove to myself that I can try something new and maybe have fun while I’m at it. That was until I scored my first-ever touchdown. I think that’s what turned everything for me.
That split second when you see the ball flying your way and your hands just pop up to grab it. Then next thing you know, you’re in the endzone and your teammates are cheering you on. It was that exact moment that all of a sudden I felt a sense of accomplishment as thought, I had found my place. I never expected that catching the ball one-time would turn out to be such a game-changer for me.
I came home that weekend with back-to-back “podium finishes” as my sister would call it. But to me, I felt like I came home a champion, for unlocking a sense of athleticism I never knew I had in me. And so I kept showing up to practice. I kept taking everything in. Big tricks, little tricks, I just kept trying.
I never thought that I’d end up liking flag football. It seemed like the kind of sport you needed a lot of experience to play. I used to see it as a way to keep myself busy and my mind at ease, but the more I came to practice, the more I loved the sport. Every training I’d go to just proved that I belonged there.
I used to worry that my weight would hold me back and that I wouldn’t fit in. I knew my body was built differently and I always thought I was not the kind of girl who had a chance in sports. And even as I write this, I worry if it’s a story worth telling. I’ve gotten so used to keeping quiet when in comes to sports because I’m afraid that people won’t believe me ot that no one ever thought I’s have a chance at it anyway.
But this summer, I found the courage to tell my story. That maybe there are other girls out there who have always wanted to try. That maybe there are girls out there who felt they didn’t deserve a chance to play in a sport, or that they weren’t athletic enough to try. If any of you are reading this – believe me, you are far more capable than you think you are.
From the moment I stepped onto the field, I felt a sense of belonging. Suddenly, it felt ok not to be too sure of how the game worked and to just try my best to understand. I was so lucky to have ates like ate Z, ate vida, ate geli, ate Thea and kuyas like kuya steve, kuya Pereme, kuya Joseph, and kuya Kris that were there to guide me as I stumbled and learned. To pick me up everytime I tripped, or to tell me the rules when I felt lost. The manila flag football community is such a safe space to learn and have fun. My teammates were super encouraging and supportive that no matter how many times I made mistakes, my quarterbacks never gave up on me. They still kept throwing me the ball until I scored.
And if my teammates don’t give up on me, why would I even consider giving up on myself?
As I played more, I started to see myself differently. I realized that being athletic isn’t just about having a certain body type. It’s about how hard you’re willing to push yourself and how much heart you put into it. Being an overweight teen in today’s society feels scary, much so that I quit far before I could even try doing any physical activity. I slash it off as something that just isn’t meant for me. But this summer taught me that I shouldn’t let those insecurities stop me from growing. Because losing a game is still a win compared to never trying. And the more I showed up to our Saturday practices, the “luckier” I felt. All of a sudden the conditioning didn’t want to make me puke. All of a sudden, I’m able to catch the ball more consistently. All of a sudden I can throw a football. My stamina and coordinates got a lot better and it was just amazing to see myself making progress and contributing to the team, despite all of the things I claimed to be me.
Playing flag football wasn’t just about getting fit; it was about building confidence and finding out what I was capable of and this summer taught me a lot.
I learned that it’s okay to start where you are and that every bit of effort counts. The sport helped me see exercise in a new light—not as a chore, but as something that can be fun and rewarding, and a form of self-love.
7 weeks later, I feel like a brand-new person. A new and improved Zarina who believes in herself a little bit more. Just because I chose to show up and try that one day. Just because I had teammates who kept passing me the ball. Just because I believed in myself a little bit more, this summer is ending with me having played in 2 flag football tournaments, 10 football games, with me scoring 3 touchdowns.
And this belief I found, also pushed me to run my very first 10k Spartan race where I placed 4th in my age category, and join community workouts where I’m able to keep up with the ates and kuyas who guide me on the field.
Playing flag football taught me that athleticism isn’t defined by how you look but by your willingness to try and fail and keep going until you learn. That showing up for yourself is always a good thing and that I’m able to prove to myself that I’m very much capable of things people told me I could never do. Because of this summer, I’m braver to try new things. I’ve learned to find happiness outside of my old comfort zone. I’ve found confidence I wish everyone my age would find.
